Steve Clifford, the former CEO of KING Broadcasting, has written humor for Crosscut.com and the Huffington Post. He is the author of "The CEO Pay Machine."
“The Christian God seems to be losing it,” an unhappy Southern Baptist says. “He anointed Trump. Whom will He anoint next? Nicolás Maduro? Kim Jung-Un? Betsy DeVos?”
You can't remember the words. You can’t sing the tune, which was composed for drunken Brits. So c'mon, let's designate a new anthem that really reflects America's values...
Trump: "Face masks are the Green New Deal. Face Masks are socialism. Real Americans don’t wear face masks. Real Americans infect. FTI! Freedom to Infect!”
I had I stolen 25 cents off my father’s dresser, although, arguably, this represented a payment in lieu of benefits I would have obtained had the children of the house been allowed to bargain collectively. Though ardent Roosevelt Democrats, my parents flouted the Wagner Act in their own home.
Recent findings strengthen my case. Neurologists have discovered a disorder called NASCAR cortex. “Watching cars circle a racetrack for 3-1/2 hours, while hoping in vain to witness a ghastly accident, severely degrades synaptic communication within the neocortex.
"It has been a great Spring. The Mariners are enjoying their best season in 20 years. All board retreats and planning sessions are cancelled. Week after week with no flip charts, no magic markers, no breakout groups, no facilitator praising blather as great ideas."
"I am planning a three-hour television special, 'The Toughest Decision in History,' where I will announce the biggest decision I have ever faced, in fact, the biggest decision that any political leader has ever faced. It will be incredible TV. Tremendous TV."