Steve Clifford, the former CEO of KING Broadcasting, has written humor for Crosscut.com and the Huffington Post. He is the author of "The CEO Pay Machine."
Today’s parents, thinking that the name Astrid contributes a half-step rise in social statue, fail to realize that their peers from similar families, schools, and social backgrounds also think the name Astrid connotes eminence. Quickly Astrid will forfeit its cachet.
In the special session, Texas Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick and House Speaker Dade Phelan hope to enact “Perpetual Packing” legislation to strengthen second amendment rights. This bill requires “real patriots” to always carry one or more firearms, even when showering.
Sign up for our offer, and you will be considered a cognoscente of painting, classical music, opera, literature, poetry and theatre, while remaining ignorant of these subjects. But you must act now. We have only a few openings left.
Last year, CEO pay jumped 14.1% for these CEOs while their median workers got a meager 1.9 %. The ratio of CEO pay to that of the median employee in this group was 274, as compared to 26 in 1978. That ratio is 4.6 at America’s most respected institution, the U.S. Military.
“Freezings, unexplained terminations and WI-FI disconnections enhance the enemy’s feeling of hopelessness and impotence. We then precipitate paroxysms of rage by randomly posting undecipherable screen messages."
Sample testimony: “General, the other party makes insinuations that our heroic military has won only one of the last five wars it fought. This is fake news!. Have they forgotten our glorious victory in Grenada?"
Back in the 70s, Seattleites regarded humor much as New Yorkers regarded hiking. They understood that some people enjoyed it, wondered if they should try it, but didn’t know what equipment they needed.
“Consider Matt Gaetz’s contrived, counterfeit smile. He stole that directly from The Joker. Look at them side by side. The same maniacal face. The same evil grin,” said a spokesperson for Warner Brothers, the owner of DC Comics.
A scientist warns: “Not only is the quantity of bullshit growing at twice the rate of underlying communications; the density of bullshit is also escalating, largely due to Fox News."
From 1945 until 2016 toleration was the fundamental principle of American foreign policy. The United States tolerated thuggish Dictators so long as they were our thuggish Dictators. The United States required every allied thuggish Dictator to annually file the one page affidavit.