Steve Clifford

Steve Clifford, the former CEO of KING Broadcasting, has written humor for Crosscut.com and the Huffington Post. He is the author of "The CEO Pay Machine."

Inside the Departments of Waste, Fraud, and Abuse

An investigative team at Fortune published a bombshell: THE DEPARTMENT OF WASTE DOES NOT EXIST. Neither did the Departments of Fraud and Abuse, which have never existed.

Trump’s Jumbo Appointments: The Few, the Brave, the Big

Regarding nominees for Assistant Secretary of the Navy, Trump stated, “These are Big Men. The WAVES will love them.”

I Know why Trump was Elected

My reasoning: Asked what qualities they desired in in a President, the top choices for women and non-straight white males were: judgement, intelligence, leadership, empathy. Straight white men chose: knowledge of NFL rules; laughs at fart jokes.

What is it about Springfield? Now the Restaurants are Serving Stolen Pets?

JD Vance warned that that stolen pet restaurants could drive other fast food chains out of business. “My private equity friends in Silicon Valley are raising billions of dollars to invest in this industry.”

How I Cope with My Most Excellent Memory

I use cutting edge technology and mnemonic methods to compensate for age-appropriate memory loss.

Move Along, Nothing to See. Our Lies are Good Lies

"My lies are good lies. I lie to preserve democracy. Trump’s lies are bad lies."

How God Annointed Trump for America

God spaketh: "America shall become a desolate land where truth has no meaning, but everywhere lying triumphs and conspiracy theories and disinformation suffocate mere facts."

Seattle: My Irony Beats Your Irony

I began to understand that Seattleites respond to irony with deadpan humor by pretending that they don’t get the joke. They best your irony with a prevailing irony.

Re-Elect God? Isn’t He Too Old for the Job?

“He is losing it,” chimed in Hannah Mills, a 34-year-old Social Media Influencer. "He once provided free manna from Heaven. Now He offers us lattes for $8.50. I wonder if He even knows the price of eggs today?”

Steve for President. Here’s my Platform:

Among my presidential promises: I will also make abortion equitable. Whatever a man starts, he must carry to term. Men running for President must campaign for nine months. Wimps like DeSantis could not drop out.

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