The Kennedy Center has just announced its 2025-2026 season, which highlights American artists and American themes. Board Chair Donald Trump called the new season “superb, very wonderful, very, very tremendous, very, very, very magnificent and very, very, very, very best ever and incredibly incredible.”
American artists and themes are reflected by new plays, operas, classical music, ballets, and other arts listed below:
Three New American Plays
Bone Spurs by Mel Gibson. A brilliant, principled, talented, stout-hearted and handsome young man dreams of fighting heroically for his country. He becomes despondent after the military rejects him because of bone spurs. His wise and loving father convinces him he can help his country more in real estate development.
Drinking Bleach, Eating Cats and Dogs, by Jeanine Pirro. A virtuous, incorruptible, astute, courageous genius discovers innovative cures. Initially ridiculed, these miracle cures save millions of lives.
L’Onnipotente Arancione, by Joe Rogan. A resolute, honest, honorable, gifted, understanding, brave, erudite, determined American leader, esteemed by all, battles the evil and corrupted Deep State to save the soul of America.
Opera.
The Washington National Opera will present three new American-themed operas:
Caligula (Composed by Lee Greenwood, Libretto by Kid Rock). The Emperor Caligula wants to appoint his horse as a Proconsul. Roman senators are undecided. Caligula explains to the 53 brave senators that this is a test of their loyalty. If they back him on this appointment, he will lower the price of eggs and assure their reelection.
Il Ritorno Dell’Onnipotente Arancione (Composed by Lee Greenwood, Libretto by Rudi Giuliani), A fearless, skillful, honest, resolute, incorruptible, and beloved American leader, after defeating the Deep State, Makes America Great Again by crushing USAID and diversity heresies.
Groenlandia, Gaza, e Canada (Composed by Lee Greenwood, Libretto by Carl Ichan). This opera, set in the future, depicts how America regained it moxie, due to a perceptive, upstanding, unflinching, illustrious, resplendent, and fearless leader.
New Compositions.
The National Symphony Orchestra will play three newly-commissioned works by
America’s greatest composer:
The Biden Crime Family, a funeral dirge composed by Lee Greenwood.
Trump Belongs on Mount Rushmore, a symphonic poem composed by Lee
Greenwood.
Shithole Countries, a tuba concerto composed by Lee Greenwood.
Dance.
In dance, the Center will offer:
“Guillotiner les Juges Fédéraux,” a new ballet staring Hulk Hogan and Rosanne Barr, with choreography by Vivek Ramaswamy, and music by Sylvester Stallone.
Mike Tyson and Tiffany Trump will dance the lead roles in the revival of the 2016 hit, Mexico Will Pay for the Beautiful Wall, choreographed by Sean Hannity, with music by Lara Trump.
Popular Culture.
Saluting the popular culture, the Center will present a popular series, Dancing with Legends. Donald Trump’s friends, Dr. Phil McGraw, Jon Voight, Howard Lutnick,
Stephen Miller, Chuck Grassley, Larry King, Bobbie Kennedy Jr., Richard
Grenell, etc. will trip the light fantastic with voluptuous starlets.
Awards.
In addition to the performing arts, The Kennedy Center will continue to honor Americans for their lifetime of contributions to American culture. On January 6, the Center will honor two recently pardoned American patriots, Enrique Tarrio, the former leader of the Proud Boys, and Stewart Rhodes, leader of the Oath Keepers, for their impeccable behavior on that Day of Love.
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Steve, this may be the best one ever! Jennifer
People are saying it will be the best season ever. Trump will resurrect the tarnished sole of the Kennedy Center and all the performers will have the most gorgeous bodies and be dressed as cats except the men because you know he doesn’t find those particular bodies as attractive to be honest, said someone who knows Trump extremely well that he’s not supposed to spend time with.
OMG! Love this! What a ‘season” at Kennedy Center!
In all seriousness, I’m a huge fan of the Kennedy Center Honors, the annual event that celebrates lifetime achievement in performing arts. I’ve even nominated former Seattle Symphony conductor Gerard Schwarz on their website (they often honor noted regional symphony composers, like with the Boston Symphony Orchestra’s Seiji Ozawa a few years ago).
If I could pick all five nominees for this year’s honorees, to join Schwarz I’d include:
— Wynton and Branford Marsalis (entry), classical and jazz musicians and composers
— Kristin Chenoweth, Broadway/musical theater performer
— James Burrows, director and producer of classic sitcoms “Taxi”, “Cheers”, “Fraiser” and “Friends” (and helped launch “Will and Grace” and “The Big Bang Theory”)
— ABBA (they’ve also honored non-Americans, such as Sirs Paul McCartney and Andrew Lloyd Webber; don’t tell Trump!)
Great minds…, Steve. See the New Yorker, Shouts and Murmurs, “Updated Kennedy Center 2025 Schedule,” March 17, 2025 (Your’s is better).
Bravo! Now what’ll you do for April Fools Day? There’s likely plenty of material forthcoming.
Hilarious! I particularly liked Caligula.
I’m not entertained and I’m not laughing.
Very funny – and very sad!
Thanks Steve. Nice use of the most vicious weapons of all: irony, satire and ridicule. Bravo! That Mike Tyson role probably violates DEI restrictions but maybe Kanye regaled with swastikas or Senator Scott okay.