Tips from a Campaign-Tested Woman Candidate: Running as Kamala

Dear Kamala,

After waging six successful campaigns for office, you scarcely need any advice.
However, you do suffer the disadvantage of being a woman candidate and sadly there
still are tougher rules for women seeking elected office. Here are ten tips for women
candidates:

1: Stay strong. We can all recall how Hillary Clinton appeared to collapse while
competing against Donald Trump in 2016. Diagnosed with pneumonia, she was
branded as “weak” and accused of being “unable to handle the job”. Women should
never — not ever — exhibit signs of fragility.

2: Play into gender biases, even if those stereotypes are outdated. Women have a
perceived advantage when it comes to home and family issues. No reason not to
capitalize on assets.

3: Learn from Nancy Pelosi’s book, The Art of Power. Her guiding principle is
conferring “respect.” She gifts it to all her colleagues and even some opponents. Her
other secret to success is sharing credit. Don’t hesitate to pay tribute to others.

4: Physical appearance matters — especially for women. Dress for the job you want to
win. So far your choices have been brilliant: the khaki suit on the first night of the
convention and the business-like navy outfit for your acceptance speech. How you
present yourself colors peoples’ opinions.

5: Make further use of call-and-response. You say: “When we fight,” they respond, “We win.” That way everyone has a piece of the action.

6: Avoid over-hasty responses. Best to take time and reflect on how things will sound
when distorted by the opposition.

7: Hit your opponents where they’re weakest. In Trump’s case, it’s on abortion. The fact that he’s now scrambling to offer some sort of support for choice is evidence of how far he erred when taking credit for toppling Roe. The issue of reproductive rights is something you need to hit over and over.

8: Work on the “likeability” index. It’s been a handicap for women, often eliminated by
the query: “Who’d you rather have a beer with?” Exhibit camaraderie when possible. Your running mate Tim Walz is a prime example: Who you gonna split a Runza with?

9: Don’t forget humor. Giving listeners an opportunity to laugh is golden. Laugh often
and share laughs with others. Even a joke at your own expense is better than dead
seriousness.

10: Avoid getting too detailed and complex. When it comes to the economy, you should avoid over-detailed specifics. (You’ll have to compromise later.) As the pols say KISS — short for “Keep It Simple, Stupid.”

Footnote: Chances are you know all this, Kamala; but better too much advice than not
enough. Competing on a far less lofty level, I ran three successful city council
campaigns before narrowly losing a fourth. Each time I filed, I faced as many as five
opponents, most male. The only way I could keep sane was to joke with campaign staffers
(“I have jeans older than that guy”), return home to my crazy orange cat, and laugh over
disasters like the one that hit days before my first election.

A city road grader came unhitched on the hilly street and careened through my garage door. After the election a witty neighbor spray-painted the temporary particle board facing my driveway. The legend I saw when returning from the long night of vote counting: “City Council Parking Only.”