Move Along, Nothing to See. Our Lies are Good Lies

A Democratic Senator called me yesterday:

Senator X: Steve, we’re asking all progressive social media influencers to toe the party line on Biden.

Steven: I am neither progressive nor an influencer. I have only seven followers.

X: Our research shows you have 12 followers, and we are in no position to be picky. Our line is that there in nothing wrong with Biden. He just had a bad night.

S: There is a difference between a bad night and early-stage dementia.

X: Biden was great a few nights later.

S: “Biden can read from a teleprompter” is not a great campaign slogan. Maybe Joe should recycle Hillary’s campaign slogan, “It’s My Turn.”

X: Joe’s problem was bad preparers.

S: Who chose the preparers?

X: Joe did.

S: Isn’t Joe the guy you want to choose all the next cabinet members?

S: Joe will be supported by an excellent team.

S: Like the ones who prepared him.

X: No. Biden can rely on his wife Jill for good advice. For backup Biden has his son Hunter.

S: That didn’t work well for Woodrow Wilson.

X: Joe has been a good President. We need to stick by him for what he has done.

S: My issue is what would he do in the next four years. Some Presidents are able to grow in office. Joe will grow only dottier and more incoherent over the next four years.

X: Steve, believe me, there is nothing wrong with Joe.

S: In the movie Duck Soup, Chico Marx asks, “Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?” Are you asking me to disbelieve the debate I watched on television?

X: In the debate you saw Trump always lying.

S: And now, you are lying about Biden being fine.

X: My lies are good lies. I lie to preserve democracy. Trump’s lies are bad lies.

S: I assume you also lie to preserve truth. 

X: Right. It’s a choice between truth and democracy; or lies and dictatorship. Look at what Trump has done to Republican officials. They are Trump puppets. They have no backbone. They’re afraid to say anything critical about him.

S: You demonstrate backbone by asking me to say nothing critical of Biden?

X: Steve, show some political courage!

S: You know Biden cannot win. Voters dislike both Trump and Biden. They want a fresh face. Tell Biden to drop out and let the convention choose between Whitmer, Newsom, Pritzker, Buttigieg, Raimondo, Hickenlooper, and others. 

That would be the greatest show of political courage since Bill Clinton proclaimed that blowjobs are not sex.