A Jerk’s Appeal for Empathy

I am tired of being called a Jerk because I am a white male. I am Jerk because that’s who I am. It’s how I self-identify. I would be a Jerk if I were Black, Asian, or any letter picked at random from LGBTQIA2S+.

Despite Seattle’s insistence on Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion, no one wants to include members of my marginalized, ostracized community, the Jerks. If you think you are not biased against Jerks, take the test below:

Negative Bias

Don’t be such a ___________

1.     Jerk
2.      Norwegian 
3.      Presbyterian
4.      Chemical Engineer

Some _____________ backed into my car.

1.     Jerk
2.     Norwegian
3.     Presbyterian
4.     Chemical Engineer

Positive Bias

Yesterday the Nobel Prize in physics was awarded to a___________:

1.      Jerk
2.      Norwegian 
3.      Presbyterian
4.      Chemical Engineer 

Our next guest has written a best-selling novel, composed a symphony for the LA Philharmonic, and, surprise, he is also a_______________

1.      Jerk
2.      Norwegian 
3.      Presbyterian
4.      Chemical Engineer

Now that you realize your bias, think of how it manifests itself in socially constructed hierarchical systems of power in which we Jerks are victims of demeaning verbal assaults, overt discrimination, micro-insults, eliminationist rhetoric, stereotyping, and exclusions that invalidate our cultural heritage. A short list of these assaults follows:

Verbal assaults: l cut into a line and a man shouts, “Hey Jerk, go to end of the line!”  Based only on group identity, he places himself in a superior social position and assumes he can exert imperious power over me.

Overt discrimination: In college, whenever I approached a girl and said, “Well, here I am. What are your other two wishes for the genie?” she would respond, “Get lost, you Jerk,” demeaning me based solely on my identity group.

Micro-insults: I voice an opinion and a nearby woman murmurs, “What a Jerk.”  She recognizes me not as an individual but as a member of a despised community, absolving her of dealing rationally with, or even considering, my point of view. 

Stereotyping: Few see Jerks as individual humans, each with idiosyncratic strengths and weaknesses. Rather we are viewed only as part of a scorned caste. I cut in front of a car and the driver immediately screams, “you Jerk!” Automobile accident and traffic ticket statistics show Bulgarians to be far worse drivers than Jerks. Yet no one ever shouts, “You Bulgarian!” at another driver.

Exclusion: Seattle nonprofit boards are striving to be more diverse and inclusive. At the same time, they exclude Jerks. These boards have all been taught in mandatory DEI training that diversity of opinions from people with different backgrounds enhances a board’s effectiveness. They adopt statements proclaiming, “A diverse board has far-ranging and significant benefits to all. Consideration of diverse opinions from people with different lived experiences leads to better decisions benefitting this institution, and our members, supporters, and our pluralistic, democratic society.  

But despite their noble intentions, these institutions blacklist Jerks. And their definition of Jerk subsumes all insensitive people who misspeak, as in: “Mother” instead of “Birthing Parent” (Did you remember to send a Happy Birthing Parent’s Day card?); “Overweight” instead of “very attractive, in a different way”; “Nazi” instead of “bewildered German patriot”; “Straight while male” instead of “heterosexual cisgender non-BIPOC Jerk.”